i drew this sign with ketchup. i love my daddy.
here is an illustrated tale of the saga of my dinner party with the porn stars. i will tell you now there are 25 pictures total, many of them extremely repetitive. examine them all closely because i took the time to upload and resize all of them. do it because you love me.
[top row: mary ellen, miffy. second row: polly, coco, soraya, holly, midori. third row: me, obsidity, antiprincess.]
and because you want to look at porn stars.
[left-> right: red, danny, kawai, noah, dave, peter. draped across them: obsidity.]
okay, the attendees:
almost everyone had two names because of the supersecret whateverness
didn't hardly talk to her at all. she seemed nice though. very perky.
holly was the host of this party. it was called HOMO, for holly monday, in replacement of the usual BUMO, for burrito monday. normally BUMO is at a restaurant, but this time holly hosted, hence the name change. her apartment was effing beautiful. and HUGE. and BEAUTIFUL. the only thing i didn't like was that i couldn't find the toilet for a while. it was kept in a little closet in a completely different room than the sink + bathrub. erm, kay. holly was really super nice though, she just had us all over and cooked for us and she didn't even fucking know me. very very sweet girl.
didn't really talk to her much either.
coco (/rachel. HAHA YOU DON'T GET IT COS YOU WEREN'T THERE. FOOL).
dude coco was cool. she told us stories about her boyfriend and tried to get me to go to a concert with her.
polly is my new best friend. i will write more about her later. she is TEH COOL though. IN TEH FACE!
not porn stars:
so according to polly this guy was hitting on me all night. i guess she was right. he was from hawaii and tried to talk to me about it. and then he tried to tell me life lessons.
dave plays the mandolin. he is teh mad cool. i found him very amusing.
wow, she was happy and excitable. she had a very frenetic kind of energy about her. she kinda made me think of an excited puppy. i liked her though.
antiprincess and her husband peter
didn't talk to either of these, they left quite early. that peter kinda weirded me out though.
he was nice i suppose. he needed to stop trying to have sex with me. NO NOAH, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR TITTIES.
she rather annoyed me, but was quiet enough about it to not rain on my party-having parade.
omg, she was REALLY COOL AND TEH HOTT. fuck, sometimes i wonder how i got so funny,
stupid cunt. OMG TEH JOKEZ AGAIN!@!!!
holly's friend danny and his friend red/john who has two names even though he's not from the internet
danny was teh hott. red was teh handyman. danny and red brought us toilet paper and a drill. they fixed things, just like real men.
okay well. the long and the short of it- i haven't decided if i'm doing long or short yet:
okay so we picked up polly and noah at polly's house which is like a mile away from here, except we didn't know exactly where so i just wandered around the wrong apartment building screaming "POLLY. POLLLYYYY" until she didn't come out and my sister went home and talked to her online to get her address. then we grabbed her and drove to holly's house, where we took 15 minutes just to find parking because san francisco is just that cool. then we got there are i was like HI I'M ABRASIVELY ANNOYING AND SPASTIC, AND HAVE NO REASON TO BE HERE SINCE I DO NOT BELONG TO YOUR EXCLUSIVE PR0N STARZ CLUB, LOVE ME! and everyone did. sixsixty kept trying to get me to get horrifically drunk, which i later found out was because he wanted me. erm, okay then budday. i made friends with all the pr0n starz and actually had a really fun time just fickling around at their house and listening to all the talk. sixsixty told me about how today he watched 8 hours of cumshots because he is a gay porn film editor. he told me i didn't need to go to college because he didn't and now he's a successful pornographer. why didn't i bone him again? 0_o
now that i think about it it's maybe weird to be in a room of people who get paid to get naked and the people who pay to see them. most of those people seemed really awesome though, and it didn't even seem like that's how everyone met. everyone was nice to me even though i was just kind of randomly there. i can't remember the half of what we did/talked about but whatever it was, it was fun. i got barely buzzed despite the tequila shot/whatever else i drank but i managed to spill sangria down my skirt in an attempt to not break a glass whilst bussing dishes. we were going to play pictionary but no one was motivated enough. we just sat around and shit talked, it was great. i think it's cool how that whole community of people is just like- yeah, come be our friend!
anyway, when we left that party polly was horrifically drunk- 3 tequila shots, however many beers, 2 cups of sangria, and whatever else was apparently "just enough". she stumbled down the sidewalk very endearingly, so i took care of her and made sure she didn't damage herself. driving down the freeway at 80 mph she decided she had to pee really really bad so we stopped at the denny's in foster city and ended up going in for apple pie ala mode- not before i helped polly go pee because she was falling over a lot. i washed her hands for her and everything, it was really adorable because she just kept laughing at herself and being like- wow, someone's actually helping me! she's a hilarious drunk, very happy and funny. i helped her with a connect the dot which i will scan later- we found her a crayon at denny's. then she fell over in the dirt outside. then we took her home and i walked her to her door because she didn't walk so good. it really was quite teh fun.
actually i guess that's it. i think i forgot why exactly i had a really good time, the details...lucky for you i have AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF PICTUREZZZ!!!!
here are six pictures that resemble each other very closely. however in each one polly is making a different face. how exciting! also in the background you can see red and danny building a shelf. TEH HOTT DRILLING ACTIONZZZ.
teh danny! k omg! in all his pictures he looks like he is saying "PU!"
here are the guys. sitting on the couch. liek omg.
here i believe sixsixty is humping dave h's face. i could be wrong though.
all night sixsixty was telling me about how one time he and dave h made out and how dave has a scruffy face. i was like...k.
dood obsidity is a spaz.
here are some people standing around.
holly david and peter. k thx.
my sister drew on a chalkboard for part of the night. k thx.
peter, antiprincess, obsidity, and noah
okay for some reason i neglected to rotate some of these pictures, and i refuse to edit and re-upload them. screw you. but anyway here is polly acting dumb on three seperate occasions.